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**This post was updated on 1/30/23
This past summer, my husband and I celebrated 21 years of being happily married, and I think we’ve learned a thing or two about what it takes to make couples stronger. It is so easy, with the hustle and bustle of life, to put your marriage on autopilot and coast through your days, not giving it the attention and time it needs. A marriage or any romantic relationship needs to be nurtured and protected.
The more time you spend on it, the stronger and richer your relationship will be. I’m not saying I’m a relationship expert by any stretch of the imagination! My hubs and I still have disagreements and misunderstandings. We even go to bed mad sometimes. But at the end of the day, we are each other’s best friend and greatest ally.
Kelly knows I love him and support him. Your man needs to know you still want him, and that is my aim!
I want you to remember when you went on your first date. Do you remember how you were swooning over how hot your man was or laughing at all his jokes? Your “honeymoon phase” may have ended a long time ago, and the spark may have gone out a bit in your marriage. But the good news is by taking the time to show love through simple romantic gestures, you can reignite some passion in your love life.
So get ready to up the ante on your romance.
10 Simple Ways To Be ROMANTIC
- Dole Yourself Up! Do you find yourself still in sweats or yoga pants at the end of the day when your man is coming home from work? It’s easy to do! Sadly, it happens to me a lot. I get busy and in the groove of getting stuff done, and I don’t take the time to stop and shower and get myself dolled up. What’s the use? I’m not going anywhere. But here’s the thing and one thing that I was reminded of recently when I was doing some personal reading. Our men are at the office all day and go to meetings with women who doll themselves up. Yikes, right! I want to think Kelly would never cheat. But after hanging out with the makeup-donned women all day long and then coming home to me without a stitch of makeup, not showered, and in sweats, I’m pretty sure I am not helping to put him in the mood. So take a break in your day and doll yourself up! He will appreciate coming home to a put-together you. And I bet you’ll feel sexier and more attractive as well. (helping you get into the mood) Even buy yourself some sexy matching bra and panty sets. If you both work outside the home, find another way to make yourself a bit more attractive to your mate. Some of you might think that what I just wrote sounds straight out of the ’50s and behind the times. Maybe so, but try it and see if it makes a difference for you. I wager it will. And for you men – make some effort too. Shave or tame the beard, throw on some cologne, and dress up. We appreciate a little effort as well.
2. Start a Gratitude journal just for your spouse. Every day for a year, take a little time at the start or end of your day to write a line about what you are grateful for in your spouse. This will help you to focus on the good things your spouse does. By doing this, the little things that annoy you or bother you will seem less important. And this would make a great surprise for your spouse next Christmas, Anniversary, or Valentine’s Day. And if you are spending time focusing on all the little things your husband does that you love, I bet you will feel more turned on by him.
3. Find a way to serve your spouse every day. One of the best ways to show someone you love them is to serve them. They can be a small, simple gesture like making their favorite food, grabbing them a cup of coffee in the morning, offering a back massage after a long day, picking up takeout at their favorite restaurant, and surprising them on their lunch break. It’s these simple things that make all the difference.
4. Send flirty texts: Make your spouse smile and surprise them with a reminder that they are still wanted. Be brave and send him a flirty “suggestive” photo. My husband and use the app Signal so that the photos taken on our phone cannot be found by our kids. They are already going to need therapy.
5. Leave random love notes. Stick little notes in various places for them to find throughout their day. If they have a big project, think of how nice it would be to find a little love note on their tablet to help remind them that they are loved and appreciated! These romantic notes can be simple and just a few words, or you can write a heartfelt love letter. Write your favorite lyrics from a love song that sums up how you feel. Or you can check out these fun love note printables I made for Kelly last Valentine’s Day. These would be a fun way to spice things up come February.
6. Just say NO to husband and wife bashing! Sometimes when we all get together as gals or guys, we tend to take this opportunity to “bash.” Just don’t do it! No one needs to know your husband’s or wife’s faults or shortcomings. Instead, find opportunities to “brag” about your man or woman.
7. Make a naughty bucket list. This will take open and honest communication with your spouse. Don’t judge, and be open to new experiences. Of course, if you are not comfortable with something, you should feel safe to say so. This can be a lot of fun and spice things up a bit.
8. Schedule a regular date night. Look at your monthly calendar and get it on the schedule. If you’re like us, life gets busy, and before you know it, it’s been months since you went out, just the two of you. Make it a priority. Date night can be as simple as going for a long walk together or snuggling up on the couch for some romantic movies. When the kids were younger, date night was more of a struggle than now, but get creative; there are plenty of ways to date your spouse without going out!
9. Find a new hobby that you and your spouse both enjoy. You could discover a new way to spend time together and stay active, like hiking. Or, if you both love to cook, create a fabulous romantic dinner together. Have fun experimenting and trying new recipes together. The idea here is to find something new you can enjoy together.
10. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Find fun ways to bring a little spice to your date night and bring back some fun to the bedroom! Be bold this year and buy the sexy lingerie, role play, get some sexy dice, or a sexy board game, etc. Just mix things up in the bedroom and bring back some romantic surprises and creative ideas.
Don’t be afraid to turn up the heat! I’m sure your significant other will gladly oblige. I was listening to a podcast the other day, and it stated that if you want more of something, you need to give it away. This is pretty profound but SO true in this frame of thinking. If you want more love and romance, you need to give away more love and romance!
I can honestly say that after 21 years of marriage, we are still hot for each other, and things have not slowed down for us in the bedroom. That might be an overshare, but this is a health and wellness website and always remember that your sexual health is a big part of your overall wellness. Sex is an excellent way to connect and feel closer to your spouse. If you want to improve the romance and reignite things – efforts must be made!
Keeping romance alive is more than sex and doing romantic things. True intimacy goes beyond the bedroom. Intimacy means a deep connection to one another and making sure your partner feels seen and loved.
Find ways to show love in small ways, such as a small gift or picking up their favorite treat to let them know we were thinking about them. Reaching out to hold hands while doing something mundane, like going to the grocery store, is another great way to become an everyday romantic. Don’t get caught up in grand romantic gestures; the small, simple ones almost always mean the most.
As always, get clear on your spouse’s love language so that you are showering them with love in the way that means the most to them.
Some Examples of The Five Love Language In Action
- Words of Affirmation: Tell them how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate all they do!
- Acts of Service: Do little things for them! Take the time to focus on, and find ways you can do things to make your partner’s life easier!
- Receiving Gifts: Find ways to surprise your partner; it is more about showing that you are paying attention and remembering what matters most to them. They love a certain kind of pastry from the shop across town, make the drive and surprise them!
- Quality Time: Make sure you set aside time to spend 1-1 with your partner! They need this time to feel connected to you. It can be simple, like coffee together in the morning or a walk together in the evening.
- Physical Touch: Find ways to hold their hand more, give more hugs, and rub their back while watching TV. Find ways to touch your partner and show them you are there for them.
If you want your relationship to thrive, it is in the small mundane every day that romance needs to be sprinkled.