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How To Build Confidence That Lasts

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A strong sense of self is the greatest gift we can give our children. Learning how to build confidence that lasts will ensure their confidence never fades.

We all know those people that were the coolest kid on the block in high school. Then even years after school you see them on social media and they seem to have never grown up. They are seething insecurities as they try to hang on to “the good ole days”!

You probably also know people, mainly women that are squirming in their skin as they age. These women often try any procedure, cream or anti-aging hype to desperately hang onto their youth. I believe at the core of these people are insecurities and they are completely unplugged from the truth of who they are.

Many times well-meaning parents pump their children with ideas of who they are. They think they are helping build their children’s confidence with endless compliments when in reality they can be setting them up for a major sucker punch. It’s great to compliment your children and I think you should but it’s really important to consciously think about the messages you’re sending these precious little souls. These comments can have an everlasting effect that will linger for years to come.

When you are giving your children messages of who they are, ask yourself this question…”Will this one day fade away?” For example, many little girls get several comments on their looks and often boys get comments on their sports skills. Both of those will one day fade away and then that child who turns into an adult can be left trying to find some sort of identity to cling to. Instead of constantly feeding them surface stories help them recognize deeper strengths that they have as well.

Of course, it’s great to tell your children how beautiful, handsome and what a great football player they are. But in addition, give them the gift of messages that have to do with their inner strengths that will last a lifetime.

Here are examples of some great messages…

  • You are a leader
  • You are a great friend to others
  • You have a wonderful sense of humor
  • You are so loving and kind
  • You are loved and adored by me and others
  • You have a great presence about you
  • You are a gift to the world and are here to do great things
  • You are a powerful creator in your life
  • You are determined and will do whatever you set your mind to

Our children go out the door and get beat up by the world. They often times get negative stories told to them about who they are by peers, teachers, siblings, friends, etc. It’s our job as their parents to magnify their strengths and remind them the truth of who they are. Write your children a letter from your heart highlighting all their strengths and hang it on their wall in their room. Read it to them on a regular basis. You will see their eyes light up hearing all the great things you see in them. This will stay with them forever!

Follow Jen on Instagram @jensuliafu


  1. This is a great read! Following for future posts! Thank you for sharing!

  2. 5 stars
    These are all great ways to build confidence in children. In this day and age, having confidence is so important, especially for growing youth.

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