Andie Thueson » Wellness » Marriage » 5 Reasons Why Men Need To Think On Thier Own

5 Reasons Why Men Need To Think On Thier Own

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A man’s silence and tendency to just go along, with things is doing more damage than good! 5 reasons why men need to think on their own and voice their opinions! 

I can already hear this now, ‘Of course, I think for myself, heck, I buy my own coffee and doughnut every morning’!  Easy big guy, I’m not talking about you thinking really hard about whether or not you want sprinkles on that doughnut. I am talking about the times when you have to make a choice and you know you should say something, but you hold your tongue or you give the easy answer.

I am talking about not thinking so often that you develop a conditioned response; silence or the easy answer. I’m talking about holding back so, for much of the time, your thinking slows. I’m talking about heeding the red flag that signals you defaulting to silence or the easy answer, the majority of the time. Because you ‘think’ this will make your life easier, less inconvenient or uncomfortable. Men reading this may say ‘hell yea I do that, why to make life any harder than it is?’. That’s the problem.

The problem isn’t using restraint and a soft answer to navigate relationship road. The problem is when you decide that instead of thinking, you will remain silent again and again to the point you believe that “they” must be right.

The problem becomes when you let everyone else do the thinking so often, your life is no longer your own.

The problem is when you become ok that your own dreams don’t matter anymore.  You resign, trading your dreams for the justification that life is easier this way.

The problem is you have fallen for the illusion that thinking is hard. You have fallen for the misconception that your headspace swirling with ideas to ‘get things done’ and chasing after the next shiny object, is  ‘thinking’.  When in reality you are being told who to be and what you should be doing.  This is called following orders. Inside You feel uneasy, frustrated, irritated, angry, you swallow the emotion, washing it down with the sugary lie, ‘it doesn’t matter, life is easier this way’.

You have been fooled following orders, making things happen so everyone else can live their dreams, but you. You have forgotten that as you gnaw on the hard questions life asks of us; ‘the meat of life’, you gain strength that translates into power to create your life.

But men are, human, fallible, men settle, they acquiesce, they trade away the meat, for a mushy bowl of porridge. Instead of growing in character they shrink. Oh, you know what I’m talking about, when you stop thinking and you morph into a puppet, sheep, pawn, doormat, ass-kisser, in polite society, a yes man. Pretty pitiful, right? Yet this happens, again and again, good men giving in, they subscribe, they suffer, they tolerate when they damn well know better.  The undeniable truth is that men do know better. They have learned from years of scares, scrapes, and scars.  Men do know how to think, to solve the problems facing them. But societies BS baffles and blinds them, tying their hands with half-truths and telling them “this is who you are and what you are worth, wait here, this is all that’s available, just a minute, we will let you know if you are “approved”, not sure what to think men numbly shuffle along.

How do I know this? Because for a few years, I remember all too well the feeling that I was living life like a sucker sold a bad seat on a runaway bus. Trying to piece together why am I here and where I am going, from a half smudged ticket and life flashing by outside a small dirty window. The crazy bus speed down the road to nowhere, until I chose to own the 5 reasons to think for myself. Empowered I stood up, got a clear picture of what was going on, took the wheel and finally began driving my own life.

As good as things are now, I cannot get those years back, for me or my family. As embarrassing as it feels to admit, I gave up my ability to think to someone else. I let other people think for me, and subsequently, I gave up my power to create my life. Knowing what I lost and what I gained by thinking, moves me to reach out, and encourage every man I met to consider these 5 reasons, to wake up, to think!  

Here are the 5 reasons, Think…

Reason 1 – Thinking is everything. Truly affecting every part of your life, from the moment you were born to the moment you are reading this. You were given a brain and the incredible capacity to think intentionally. The plan has always been for men to be self – actualizing. You were born with brains to do your own thinking, that is an inalienable right. Each of us has the ability to think for ourselves, no one can do this for us. Thinking is our gift to use to bless the lives of our family and friends. The key is to use the gift.  Don’t be fooled, the gift cannot be bought and don’t even consider giving it away. Treasure and use the gift of thinking, your gift, to use to create your good life.

Reason 2 – All of life asks you to think. Everything you do, everything, asks you to think.  From what you wear in the morning, choose to eat for breakfast, to the words you use to say goodnight to your sweetheart. Life is waiting, begging you to think, to make a difference in the world. The impulse to let someone else call the shots is real, be aware and fight back, you are matter, you are on earth to make a difference. You thinking will make that difference.

Reason 3 – Get this truth in your head, the gulf between those who do really well in this life and those how don’t, comes down to the amount of thought they give to their choices. Listen carefully, in every moment of your life, the consequence of not thinking is a lack of results. The good life you want for you and your family is possible only to the extent that you are willing to think.  

Reason 4 – Fact, day in and day out men let other people think for them. This ability is not ‘taken’ it is ‘given’ away. Men, be accountable, your shitty life is happening because you are willingly giving away your gift of thinking. Stop with the excuses, whether you gave away your ability to think; to your wife, your government, your boss, your religion, the result is the same, you become powerless. Do Not Let This Happen!

Reason 5 – The final reason, the absolute truth is, You only have one life. You can either die powerless with nothing to show for your life or you can think.  You thinking matters. To Your family. To Your friends. Think; provide, protect, lead, create, contribute.

 What do You think? Are You ready?

Choose to Think. Your good life awaits You.

Follow Craig on Instagram @craiglboucher 

One Comment

  1. I think women can fall into this trap of “not thinking for themselves” as well. Everyone has a secret.. a shame that binds you into believing you are “less than”. I’m giving both my son’s this article to read. thank you!

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